Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I hadn't even thought of this day till this morning, flipping through my e-mails and Facebook offerings.  I have thought of the significance of 2012 and yes I have let it sit in the back of my head like a headache or worry I'd rather not deal with.

So 12-12-2012!!!! 

A date and year translated as doom via our translation of the Mayan calender.  Logical me likes to think that maybe it was just the end of their calendar and not THE END. 


Numbers so devine and sacred that thousands of brides will marry on this date just because of the harmony this number shall bring to their holy matrimony.


A dozen roses. The number of months in our calendar year. 12 inches in a foot.  12 hours on a clock.  24 hours in a day (12x2=24).  And it can be evenly divided into multiple subsets; 12 breaks down into halves, thirds, fourths, sixths and twelfths making it a very dynamic number.

And it would have been just another day if I had bypassed my computer today and ignored the news.  Happily, I have begun to see 2012 in general, much the same way.  Just another year, with its good and bad, ready to lay down and allow room for 2013.

So I say numbers are devices man has come to use in order to make better sense of the world when he believes intuition and faith are not enough to do the job.  I believe following numbers to count our time here on Earth, sometimes feels like an attempt at shortening it.  And a day (or year) is what you make it.

So what does this day mean to me? 

December 12, 2012.  Laundry day, another Wednesday Blog post and 13 more days till Christmas. 



Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Insecure Writers Support Group: Self Doubt and Me.

So my friends and fellow members of the Insecure Writers Support Group, how do I get these out of my stomach?  How do the rest of you banish self-doubt as writers and creative beings?  As a human being in general?

Confidence builds in time they say.  And each jumble of words I put down should feed said confidence, right? 


Sometimes I feel brilliant and inspired and many other times I feel halted and bound by self-doubt. 

Do I not believe I deserve to finish?  Do I really like running in place each time I get towards the middle of a new project?  I have written 125,000 word Fan Fiction stories.  I write without hesitation and in much detail when I post or comment on-line.  I have a million short stories and multiple NaNoWriMo offerings... 

So why do I feel like I have a rabble of Lepidoptera in my stomach when I sit down to the computer these days and a bound up head of ideas not able to escape? 


Any thoughts to finding this beasts Achilles heel, please?


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