My Mantra.

 

 

I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I... 

 

This became my Mantra after finding the quote below. 

 

Not until becoming a mother and understanding my own a little better, did I realize I needed to not only hear this, but make this truism my own at this stage of my life.  So often, women are taught to expect less than what they desire.   And even more so, or at least in my case, when you were raised poor.

Indirectly, I was weaned, believing my wish for bigger, sparkly things for myself was a selfish pursuit.  That I was the odd one, the snob.  I clearly remember my grandmother, asking with all seriousness and some frustration, why I wanted to go to college.  Why not just get married and have my children.  Its what was done.  But its not what I wanted to do.  It wasn't right for me.  My mantra must have been in my head back then, just buried under learned bullshit of a back road bumpkin. 

Over the years, through college, meeting my wonderful best friend and husband, a degree, good jobs and bad, I did find bigger things for myself than what I could have settled for.  And I was (and still) very happy for my life as is.   But I was still settling in some regards...  And then I became a mom.

James is by all measure, the most amazing work I shall ever do.  And I will never expect less for him or let him expect less for himself.  But to teach him this, I must teach by example.

I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I deserve this.

 



I want to write.  I want to create.  I want to do these things to some satisfactory measure, while creating a happy and beautiful home for my family.  And any future job I choose I wish it to follow these goals without compromise. 

I know I have ability.  Now I just need to keep telling myself I deserve what I can gain from those abilities.  The rest is about hard work.  My dreams deserve that.

What's your mantra, fellow IWSG members?  And remember to grab a cookie on the way out of group.
 

M is for Motherhood and Make-believe

is for Motherhood and Make-believe.


I don't think you have to be brilliant or even subpar at the world of make-believe, to be the best mom.  The ability and application of love, patience and responsible behavior help with that.  But it sure is fun when you have a little one and being creative is your wheelhouse. 

So with each day he grows, so will our creative adventure...



James.  Age 2 1/2.  I think I'll frame it.  ;-)
 

 

First complete art project.  Almost 3.

 

The artist in his art space.

 

Future art space...

 



What I believe.

 



A very good beginning of his journey.

 

A lesson I live by.  Be yourself.  Be creative.  Be unique.



And be brave my little lion.

 

Oh, and have fun!

 


 

J is for James

J is for James.

  He is often one of the reasons I don't get to my writing these days, besides poor planning on my part.   But he is also one of the biggest reasons I need to continue what I start.  Children learn by example and that's what I need to be for him...and for myself.

Who are you an example too, A to Zers?

Feeding My Muse the Best Lie.

    I really am trying to hold onto this belief.  Through dirty diapers and potty training.  House cleaning and remodeling.  Through mounds of dirty laundry and long lists of social engagements for me and my little man.  Through days where I feel like I'm only accomplishing just keeping up so I can fall behind again... 

There is this spark of belief I still hold dear.  That the stories I keep in my head will be more than just passing thoughts.  And that the characters who have helped me build them will some day be given a chance to really live, like all characters deserve to live, in the minds and hearts of someone else other than their creator. 

I know my little family is the most important thing to me in this life, but I will continue to tell my muses otherwise. 

 

WIP Thursday: Another Kind of Super Power.

This little fella can be seen making the rounds on Facebook.  The image and intent make me smile, but also reminds me of how I want my son to be and how I try to be.  Underoos and all. *smile*

I also think writers can take something away from this pic.  In childhood, we are so brave and confident in our imaginings.  Time and experience takes that gift away from most.  But writers-writers still posses that gift.  Even with a adults understanding of the worlds harsh realities, we still allow the magic of imagination into our lives and then we send it out to others, hoping they can also share in this magic.

I believe having a imagination is a super power.  I dare anyone to disagree.   And I think believing in yourself is the strongest ability of them all.

WIP Thursday: Well At Least I Posted!

*Making a Blog entry.   YES.

*Doing dishes and laundry.....   NO!

*Reading a later tonight.   YES.

*Cleaning up others messes.    NO!

*Writing more than I am.  And by more I mean at all.    YES.

CONCLUSION:  Need a maid.  Or maybe just better game plan...


How about you all?

WIP Wednesday: My Pep Talk Rx

                                Prescription best used in life and in writing.

 

 

     I see this old slate board every morning (every time) I enter the living room and walk towards the kitchen.  It hangs by the kitchen windows, where it presides over much of my activities these days.  Anyone with a very young tot knows the kitchen becomes your second home (preempting my desk space many days *sigh* ).   Another topic for another day.

 

I gave myself this Rx many years ago when I worked in the Mental Health field.  The lettering I used often in my daily logs and note taking and the Rx I used everyday when dealing with both clients and the MH system which I worked.  One day at a time.

 

Keeping this simple message up in my home now, reminds me to stay focused and work on what is at hand and not obsess about things I can not control or whats still so far ahead for both my little family and for my writing.  It reminds me that big and important jobs can become so much more manageable when you just focus on one day at a time.

 

Good writing folks.

 

 

A Baby Changes Everything?

It is true. A baby does change everything…. Everything? Priorities change – check. Body changes – check. Brain chemistry changed and may never return – sadly, check. Home environment changes – double check. These things change because they must change. Pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing require it of me. But how many items other mothers put on the “change” checklist don’t have to change or shouldn’t?

 

Obviously if the above changes I named occur when one becomes a mom, you technically are living much of your life for your child and those changes are fine by me.  Part of that whole change in priorities thing.   But I believe that there are many changes, some small and some large, that are a matter of choice. 

 

I once heard someone say its time to put away childish things when starting a family.  So long, youthful hair gets cut short because of practicality?  Social life becomes trips to the grocery store and the occasional play date?  Heels become tennis shoes and couture becomes sweats and jeans?  Of course the sweats are welcome, because worrying about ones waistline or style has taken a backseat to grooming and growing your little family.  And a big one for me, pipe dreams become old hobbies and old hobbies become nearly non-existent???

 

I say no!

 

I say these changes fit into "matter of choice".  And what is wrong with keeping some "childish things" in your life.  Some of the smartest, most successful or just plain good people I've known still feed their inner child and have made the best of parents.   Because when you keep the things that make you uniquely YOU, the world and your children's world benefits.  Our children learn that its okay to be a individual and how important it is to have dreams.  They watch us follow those dreams, live our lives and enjoy the lives we have made.  And maybe in the end respect us as role models for doing so. 

 

I want James to have a mommy he is proud of.  I want him to believe dreams are possible because he has watched me work for one of mine.

 

So I sit here in suburbia, a rural girl out of water with my long hair and high heel boots, typing away at a dream. 

 

While a happy baby boy chatters away, just down the hall...