My Mantra.

 

 

I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I... 

 

This became my Mantra after finding the quote below. 

 

Not until becoming a mother and understanding my own a little better, did I realize I needed to not only hear this, but make this truism my own at this stage of my life.  So often, women are taught to expect less than what they desire.   And even more so, or at least in my case, when you were raised poor.

Indirectly, I was weaned, believing my wish for bigger, sparkly things for myself was a selfish pursuit.  That I was the odd one, the snob.  I clearly remember my grandmother, asking with all seriousness and some frustration, why I wanted to go to college.  Why not just get married and have my children.  Its what was done.  But its not what I wanted to do.  It wasn't right for me.  My mantra must have been in my head back then, just buried under learned bullshit of a back road bumpkin. 

Over the years, through college, meeting my wonderful best friend and husband, a degree, good jobs and bad, I did find bigger things for myself than what I could have settled for.  And I was (and still) very happy for my life as is.   But I was still settling in some regards...  And then I became a mom.

James is by all measure, the most amazing work I shall ever do.  And I will never expect less for him or let him expect less for himself.  But to teach him this, I must teach by example.

I deserve this.  I deserve this.  I deserve this.

 



I want to write.  I want to create.  I want to do these things to some satisfactory measure, while creating a happy and beautiful home for my family.  And any future job I choose I wish it to follow these goals without compromise. 

I know I have ability.  Now I just need to keep telling myself I deserve what I can gain from those abilities.  The rest is about hard work.  My dreams deserve that.

What's your mantra, fellow IWSG members?  And remember to grab a cookie on the way out of group.
 

B is for Believe

B is for...

 

Believe.  As just a word on its own, it sounds like magic to me. 

Belief in yourself and your story.  The magic that happens when we, as writers, do both.  When we believe in our written worlds, we invite our readers to do the same.  And once they believe in our star-crossed lovers fates, climb our mountains on long sojourns to elsewhere or believe in our unlikely hero's with impossible odds, they begin to feel our stories.

Suspension of disbelief is easy when the readers heart is fully entrenched in the hero's pocket.  But you'll never get the reader there, if you do not first believe in your story or in yourself.

Now, this goes out to my Insecure Writers Support Group compatriots this first Wednesday of the month.  I know I have the ability above.  And may do okay with this whole writing adventure.  Just need to get my boots back down on the trail and my fingers to the keys...

Good writing folks!  Grab a donut and a coffee on your way out and I'll see ya tomorrow fellow A to Zers!

IWSG Wednesday: Not Alone And Never Could Be.

Yes, reading does this.  But writing... 

Writing is one of those lonely vocations, is it not my fellow members of The Insecure Writers Support Group. The initial act done, for all intents and purposes, alone with ones works.   But I must contend, are we really alone then?

As a child, some may call them imaginary friends.  And some medicated individuals call them "the voices in their head".  But we writers know these apparitions as our characters.  Part us trying to understand ourselves, part amalgam of those we want to better understand, and if we are lucky our characters grow and become something of their own. 

I don't know about you, but when a character begins to break free of the mould I originally made for it, it begins to stay with me.  At least it sometime feels that way.  During quiet times (when my life and my two year old allows me) characters visit me as passing thoughts.  And when I write, I feel like I have become a passing thought in their lives.  Someone among them, but just out of the way as to not get in the way of their lives.

So alone?  No, not alone while I write.  And of course, I have all of you when I leave their company.

Now don't forget the coffee, or neglect the cookies and donuts, on your way out of today's meeting of the IWSG.

WIP Wednesday: Insecure Writer's Support Group in Session.

I have done a handful of things that have yielded great reward over the years.  Working in the Mental Health field, loving my husband, becoming a mother...  None of these things were or are always easy.  The best things never are.  And I did not pursue these things to be rewarded.  That came as a happy side effect.

But writing...

Once I get past the procrastination and excuses, the act of writing (and art) feels as easy to me as breathing.  Far easier than the other rewarding choices in my life.  So why do I not pursue the act of creating, the way I do my more difficult vocations?  Something so self rewarding and so easy for me, if I just cut the procrastinators bull shit and pick up my pen and lay fingers to keys...

Because, maybe writing is just for me?  And I have a hard time giving myself a chance at good things...

I see that.

Okay, well thanks Insecure Writer's Support Group for the therapy session.  We have found yet another case of "Own Worst Enemy".   Free cookies and coffee on your way out...




 

Should Ya Know My Politics?

I have come to the hard learned conclusion, politics is the great alienater, my fine members of the Insecure Writer's Support Group.

People you thought you knew become unrecognizable and differences you may have just talked through or accepted any other given Sunday, become huge gaping canyons of animosity when tossed into the context of politics.

Now, I like to think of my present and future relationships with my readers to be a friendly, non-alienating one.  Seeing people of different opinion and place in life participating and enjoying my world is a thrill.  I want to keep a atmosphere that nurtures that.  But at the same time I am no fan of apologizing for who I am or what I believe.

How do I stay true to me and yet keep all of you?  To all those conscientious fiction writers who manage a writing blog, how do you find the balance between the writing world and your personal beliefs?  Do you nix all discussions of politics from your realm?  Do you stay neutral when the "politics" hits the fan?  Does having a political opinions hurt a writers fledgling career?

I know this is a personal choice.  I guess I was just wondering if this was ever a dilemma for any of you out in ink and keyboard land?

And thank you to Alex J. Cavanaugh for thinking up this pretty cool support group/ blog hop!