Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Fight, Fight, Fight! Blogfest!!!

And now, my entry in the Fight, Fight, Fight! Blogfest, being held by JC Martin at Fight Writer. Check out all of the other entries here.

I had posted this yesterday, after my Fairytale Blogfest entry. I figured posting it on its own today might be easier for folks to get to. Less scrolling.

And thank you to all who also commented on my Fight entry yesterday!

I have written shoot outs, verbal fights, fist fights and even a cat fight. This ‘fight was a bit different for me.

This is a part of scene from my temporarily shelved WIP, Touched. Logan is my MC. He is a telepath, amongst other things. He is helping his childhood friend Mike (a deputy), with a dispute outside of town. The islands dock manager, Stan Murdock, is drunk and taking revenge on Dr. Melbourne,
a marine researcher who runs the science center.

I attempted to give the reader the viewpoints of both Logan and Mike. I am not sure it worked (hence shelved WIP). In this scene, Mike gets a small hint that his long lost friend has something more than money and attitude going for him….

WARNING: Curse words and some crude epithets of a derogatory nature. Do not read if this offends.


“Hey, Buddy?” Logan called out just as Murdock slammed the axe into the door hinges. “How about ya call it a day and go sleep it off…”

“FUCK YOU!” Murdock bellowed, now focused on the embedded axe.

“No, I don’t think so.” Logan knowingly smirked, his eyes solidly trained on the axe wedged into the door.

When the big man reached for his weapon of choice and pulled, the axe stayed put by the sheer strength of Logan’s telekinetic stare. Murdock’s hands slipped from the handle, sending him staggering back from the door and into a table top.

Taking the opportunity, Mike moved to Logan’s side. Murdock found his unsteady footing and was reaching for the axe once more.

“Come on Stan, let the axe alone…” Mike calmly ordered the bleary eyed dock manager. At this point, a voice could be heard from behind the mangled door.

“It’s Deputy Michael Mahoning, Doctor. We are here to help…”

“You people get this deranged Neanderthal out of my lab!” The muffled sound of authority bellowed from behind the door. “To protect and serve, my ass…”

Logan could only feel indignation and a over bearing sense of entitlement emanating from Murdock’s target behind the door. (through his ability) For a half second, he considered allowing the big brute to bag the snooty intellectual and call it a day.

“FUCK YOU TOO, YA MURDERIN TREE HUGGIN FAG!” Murdock yelled his unoriginal epithets to the scientist behind the door. “I told ya I’d get ya for burnin my boat, ya freekin fairy…”

“You stupid, half breed ogre.” The doctor retorted. “I don’t give two shits about your precious rat trap skiff. Why would I burn it?”

“Shut up! SHUT. UP.” Murdock’s screamed at the top of his lungs and pulled angrily once more on the axe handle, becoming more frustrated with each try.

Logan took the opportunity to step away from Mike and walked closer to the exit door, cautioning his friend the deputy to stay put.

Mike watched his friend with raised brow, his gun now trained on Murdock who was still trying to move the strangely unmovable axe. ‘What the hell is Logan doing?’ And then he realized and his stomach went sick.

“Hey big guy…” Logan could almost taste the immense swell of anger and frustration swirling in the alcoholic whirlpool that was Murdock’s head. It was familiar and it tasted bitter, but it was strong, too strong for the man to stop the path he was taking now.

‘Need to focus that nasty elsewhere. Need to distract…’

“Tell me, what kind of man will your girl think of you for killing this guy…” Logan nodded to the storage vault. The large man abruptly turned and let out a bull snort, focusing his full attention on Logan. “Then again, I guess it wouldn’t matter much anyway, being that you’re not much of a man to begin with, being a wee thing and all…”

Mike’s eyes grew wide when Logan raised his thumb and pointer finger to demonstrate the size of the large man’s questionable manhood.

Murdock screamed with rage and lunged, knocking Logan into the emergency exit he'd purposely positioned himself. Logan had hoped to take the party outside.

‘Oh, shit.’

Logan realized the flaw in his plan too late. The door was locked. Something he was quickly remedying with his ability, while trying to avoid getting smashed like a bug by the larger man pinning him into the door.

Mike joined the tussle, throwing his own body weight onto the man to try and subdue him. And then the lock on the emergency door disengaged, and all three men went sprawling out into the back parking lot. The door alarm blaring.

“Holy hell, Stanley. Knock it off!” Mike yelled, reaching for his cuffs, trying to sit on Murdocks flailing legs.

Logan pushed his weight into the man’s head and shoulders and into the ground, trying to get his arms. “Mike. Cuffs!”

This needed to end.

Logan closed his eyes, before they began to blur, the hand he held down on Murdock’s head began to hum with everything—all the anger and humiliation and even pain that drove the man struggling under him. The fast frightening beat of the mans heart became Logans own and he focused on it, held it within his own mind as tight as his grip on the mans body. ‘Slow…’ Logan breathed out, eyes squeezed tight. ‘Rest. You are done, here.’

Mike could feel the large man slowly begin to still under him, giving him enough time to catch the hands that now lay limp on the snow and gravel. Finally cuffing the man he sat back on the now listless man’s legs, and looked to his friend who had rolled off the big man’s body and was now on his back in the snow.

The young deputy felt a shiver go down his spine; the light blue of Logan’s eyes almost appeared white when he opened them to the overcast sky. Something had just happened here and Mike was damned if he knew what.

Before he could say a word, the frazzled but no less indignant Dr. Melbourne walked through the alarming exit door, reaching up with his key to shut off the sound. “So you got the son-of-a-bitch…”

Logan sat up, wiping the snow off his body and out of his unruly hair. Mike turned his attention to the scientist and the large axe in his shaking bony hand.

“How did you get that out of the door?”

The doctor continued to eye his ex-captor, now trussed up on the ground like Christmas Turkey. “Found it on the floor.”

Mike turned back to Logan and found his friend’s cool crystalline blue eyes dulled and settled upon him. His expression unreadable.

“Keys? I’ll pull the Jeep around and help ya load ‘Gigantor’.” Logan snarked, his voice calm and even while Mike still found himself panting for breath.

Mike nodded and flipped him the keys. “Thanks.”

Logan nodded and turned, feeling his friend’s eyes and questions follow him into the falling snow….

Thanks for reading folks. I will be around to ya soon!


  1. Never get between a madman and a locked door.

    You did a great job of getting into each head (no pun intended for your telepathic, telekinetic hero, Logan.)

    Fight scenes are difficult in that you know what you to portray, you see the action in your head, but sometimes you leave out a connecting sentence since you see it in your head.

    That was not the case here. You handled the scene with precision and tension. Great job, Roland

  2. Full of tension, a very action packed scene. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Okay, first, this was really well done. But, secondly, my favorite thing about it was the unique angle of fighting with telekinesis. Way cool!!!

  4. Roland: I am happy to here your assessment. I still have my doubts, but they may lessen with editing. ;-P When I write a scene like that I feel like I am just dictating whats going on in my head to paper. If I pay real good attention, not much gets lost in translation. Thanks Roland!

    Mesmerix: And thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!!

    Words Crafter: And now your getting me all excited. I still have to shelve it right now, but this gives me a little more hope for the story when I do get back to it and edit/fix stuff. Thanks!

  5. This was quite a fight, both physically and verbally. You'll want to watch your adverbs...too many, but overall it was a fun read and entertaining. Great entry.

    Edge of Your Seat Romance

  6. Sorry for commenting so late on this...

    Great scene...I love the telekinesis and the fact that Logan's eyes change color when he's using it.

    I skipped right through the POV shift - you handled it very well.

    Nice work. You might want to think about resurrecting this!



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